Funny jokes

[typedef]

[TGIF]
Q: Why does a blonde write TGIF on the inside of her shoes?
A: To remind her that Toes Go In First.

[Dumb blond swimming]
On a deserted island there were three women, a blond a brunette and a redhead. They needed to get back to the mainland and the only way was by swimming. The redhead goes first. She makes it a quarter of the way then drowns. The brunnette goes second. She makes it one third of the way then drowns.The blonde comes last. She makes it one half of the way, gets tired and then turns back.
[School and blonde]
There is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they are all in third grade.Which one has the biggest breasts? The blonde because she is 18.

[Blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York]
What is the difference between a blonde and the grand old duke of york? The grand old duke of york only had 10000 men.
How do you keep a blonde busy? see below.

[Busy blonde]
How do you keep a blonde busy? see above.
[What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you?]

What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you ???
Run like hell cause she got a grenade in her hand!

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funny pickup lines

Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Champaign can be tickly, and so can I.
Coffee? Tea? Me?
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off!
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Guy: Can i see your hand? (he draws a little river then a bunny on one side and says he can't get to the other side because he will go glub glub glub.) Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.

Guy: Did I see u somewhere? Girl: No Guy: Then I must of seen you in my dreams! (works everytime)
Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours?

I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?

[Computer Geek Pick-up Lines]

You had me at "Hello World."
You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
My 'up-time' is better than BSD.
Are you an angel, because your texture mapping is divine!
You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.
You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.
How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
Your beauty rivals the graphics of Doom 3.
You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.
I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up.
Want to see my Red Hat?
If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
You put the SPARC in my workstation.
You make my software turn into hardware!
Isn't your e-mail address [email protected]?
I'd switch to emacs for you.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?
No, that's not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
Nice Set of Floppies!
I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.
If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.
Hey, how 'bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.
I'd like to play on your laptop.
Come to my 127.0.0.1 and I’ll give you sudo access.
If you were an ISP I'd dial you all day long.
I'd get a T3 to watch your streaming video.
I'll bet my hard drive is the biggest you've ever seen.
Your homepage or mine?
Hey Baby, Let me hack your kernel
No, that's not an iPod mini in my pocket. I'm just happy to see you.
Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean
Want to come see my HARD Disk? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
Need me to unzip your files?
How about we go home and you handle my exception?